Welcome to this week’s edition of Aloha Friday. Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. I’ll ask a simple question for you to answer. Nothing that requires a lengthy response. If you’d like to participate, just post your own question on your blog . Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the Mr. Linky there if you are participating.
My question is:
When you work for someone, when do you keep your mouth shut and at what point do you finally stand up for yourself?
My boss crossed the line last night and I emailed her a letter with my needs with a copy to her supervisor. We shall see what happens.
Oh goodness.. I have been in your shoes before... I don't know when is a good time or not.. I think you just know.. and it's important to be honest.. or you end up being miserable.. I hope everything goes well with your letter.. but I think you did the right thing. :)
ReplyDeleteMost of the time, I'm not willing to invest the mental energy it takes to enter into resolution conversations. I ususally just eventually get over it.
ReplyDeleteMy problem is I don't shut my mouth. I tend to say what I think.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful weekend!
I have always found that it is easier to find another job. Your work history follows you wherever you go. When I was a teacher, I just learned to shut up and take it - It wasn't worth the "payback" for pissing off my principal.
ReplyDeleteWhen you have another job lined up, then they kiss your rear
ReplyDeleteTough question! I agree, if you don't stand up for yourself things will never get any better, but tread carefully. Work is full of cliques.
ReplyDeletegood luck!
I've opened my mouth before, pretty much only when I knew that I was right and they were wrong. I dont know though... this is tough and I guess it depends on the situation!
ReplyDeleteI do not know. I think when a situation becomes unbearable then it is important to say something. The gray area before unbearable I am not sure about. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI don't "work" anywhere right now, I am a SAHM. But when I worked in a bank about 10 years ago, I had an extremely difficult time keeping my mouth shut. I got a little mouthy with my supervisor, and some customers, so I would hope that now I would have enough self-control to stop and think before I speak.
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best w/ this dilemma. The last time I was in a situation where people crossed the line I sent them to their rooms. Sorry but it's been over 12 yrs since I was in the out of the house work force.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been in that position myself, but I imagine that I would confront my boss to try and resolve it. It would eat at me until I did say something.
ReplyDeleteHave a great Friday!
It is really hard for me to keep this so I don't do job, I try to be my own boss, do my own business whether its on very small scale
ReplyDeleteIt is hard not to say anything but when I do I seem to get myself in trouble so I try not to say to much since my wife is a SAHM I can't afford to get fired.
ReplyDeleteI speak up, especially when I know I am right and have been wronged. But I make certain to be very professionally about it and have any documentation (email etc) to back me up.
ReplyDeleteWhen it starts affecting your mood outside of work something needs to be done.
ReplyDeleteOoh, that's a toughie. I hope everything works out for you. A few months back I said something to one of my bosses {she wasn't being respectful} and things have been fine ever since. {knock on wood}
ReplyDeleteHappy Friday! =)
I'm horrible, in all parts of my life, at standing up for myself. I recently held a part-time job for about a month. It took that long a time of my boss treating me with barely any respect before I finally quit!
ReplyDeleteIt's all about picking and choosing your battles. Some stuff is better just walked away from.
ReplyDeletehttp://iamharriet.blogspot.com/2009/05/friday_29.html
I think you hit the nail on the head by saying when they cross the line. Hope it goes well.
ReplyDeleteIt would depend on the situation. I hope everything works out in your favor. Good Luck!!!
ReplyDeleteMust have been one of those weeks....I feel like going postal because of f....ing micromanaging....sorry but thanks for the vent! xoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteThat's a tough one. I tend to stand up for myself.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Tough call. Most of the time it really is something only the person involved can decide. So many times I have bitten my tongue and just gone along with things. I think with the job market the way it is, more people are keeping quiet. Not always the best thing, but somethings needed. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteOh that's a hard one. I generally hate to make waves, but if someone ticks me off enough, I speak up.
ReplyDeleteGood for you!
There is always a fine line, but it is not okay for people to walk all over you because they know you are not going to say anything.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
I haven't had much experience in this - I tend to lean towards the "be polite and hope it goes away" side but from what you said I'm thinking you did the right thing. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI'm usually non-confrontational, but if I feel that someone truly crossed the line, I would stick up for myself--otherwise they won't know what my limit is.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your boss. I hope it gets resolved soon.
:( Sorry you have to work this weekend and your boss is being a pain.
ReplyDeleteMy boss is weird. He often offends me with comments & suggestions that are totally unwork-related. I tend to let things roll off my shoulder because I don't see him everyday.
I've been putting up with it only because I need the job but once I get another (Fingers crossed) I'll have no worries when I say "I QUIT".
Sorry your boss is a pain...
ReplyDeleteThe problem with me is that I think that I am the boss. It sometimes gets me into trouble - but, no pink slip so far! :)
Have a super weekend!
I have not experienced this. I am really sorry you are having difficulties at work.
ReplyDeleteIt depends on what the problem is. I'm a easy going person so with a lot of stuff I just let it go. Some stuff has to be discussed though.
ReplyDeleteI think that all depends on how easy/difficult you think it will be to get another job.
ReplyDeleteThat's a tough one, I'm really not sure sorry I can't be of any help lol
ReplyDeleteWow! Tough question - but a good one! I try not to "get all up" in emotional suabbles UNLESS it is impacting my career. It's not worth the time & energy at this point in my life :-)
ReplyDeleteMy employer would never say anything negative to me, I am the reason he has a business!
ReplyDeleteI don't think I shut my mouth quite fast enough! It gets me into trouble sometimes!
ReplyDeleteMy boss and I were friends before I worked for him. I was actually friends with his wife first. I am basically a blunt kind of person and before he hired me he knew that I spoke my mind. If he saids or does something that I don't like I let him know it. I have always felt like it's better to get it out there instead of carrying it around and letting it boil up inside of ya. I probably say too much but he listens to me and we talk.
ReplyDeleteThat's a tough one. I usually keep my mouth shut until I think something is really harming the organization or is just not done right. It's a hard decision to make.
ReplyDeletedepends on the situation. but i refuse to talk to my boss about the utter incompetence and annoying nature of his secretary. he loves her. you don't go up against an equity partner over his secretary...
ReplyDeleteHonestly It depends on what your dealing with on a daily bases. IF you can afford to be without a job if you should happen to loose it. Also depends on what lined was crossed and if there are laws that will be on your side if you should happen to get fired. Good Luck hope the boss is on your side.
ReplyDeleteBefore I was a SAHM and worked with a boss...I always made sure things stayed on course...BUT, if not - you are right on - you did a VERY awesome thing..Let us know the outcome!
ReplyDeleteI had a good working relationship with my boss when I was still working at the office.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your experience. Hope everything will work out for the best.